VAB, Kennedy Space Center — Today, NASA announced in a press conference that after stacking the universal stage adapter, they didn't secure it to SLS properly, so when a worker on SLS leaned on the adapter, it fell right off.
"Everything broke," said chief SLS designer Silliw Divad, "after falling off, it put a microscopic dent into the core stage, causing us to need to replace the whole thing. It also severely damaged the stage adapter itself, causing us to need to build a new one, which will take 10 years to do"
NASA has said that they disagree with Divad's statement that it will take 10 years to make, and have said that they will be able to fly the core stage of SLS, but that is seeming unlikely based off of many people who work on SLS having seen the microscopic dent.
Disclaimer: this is satire, none of this is true