Starbase, TX — Today, the stray long march booster that has been in the news has re-entered the atmosphere, but it didn't burn up in the atmosphere nor land in the ocean. No, it re-entered over Boca Chica, and propulsively landed on the landing pad. This comes as a shock to everyone, as China has never mentioned that their Long March 5 rocket could propulsively land or even survive re-entry!
Despite the fantastical spectacle, there has been significant backlash from many agencies. The Biden Administration has expressed concern with Chinas lack of controlled decent. The FAA has brought up concerns with china landing without a supervisor on scene to babysit every action. Even the Australian Space agency had something to say about it. Australian Space Agency representative Mathew Elbac had this statement in response to the Chinese booster landing on international land.
"Listen here mate, I know 'Straya isn't known for that aerospace stuff, but if they wanted to land somewhere they should have called us. Everyone knows when you've got a piece of aerospace hardware coming in fast and hot, the down under gets first dibs on that! First Skylab, then Hayabusa, and obviously next should have been the Long March!
SpaceX engineers who have been celebrating the first successful Starship landing, were naturally rather concerned when the Long March made several sonic booms as it careened toward the active worksite. SpaceX concrete repair technician CJ Looney was more than happy to say something about the incident.
"Okay listen here, a little warning would have been nice! First of all, we were all at the worksite when it landed without warning! Second of all, I just finished touching up the pad after Starship landed just days ago. Now I have to start all over! Actually you know what, no, I'm sick and tired of this. Elon can fix his own landing pads!
After this, CJ Looney stormed off from the SpaceX test facility.
When we contacted a representative from the China National Space Administration, this was their only comment.
"Wait, that booster can't do that... Weird."