The Onion purchases Apogee Report, rebrands it "The Orion"

The Onion purchases Apogee Report, rebrands it "The Orion"

Madison, WI--The Onion news has made a public statement confirming the purchase of the recently started "Apogee Report" to integrate it into the Onion News brand.  After only an hour of negotiation, the purchase was finalized at 8.4 billion USD.  An Onion News representative had this to say.  "When we first found the Apogee Report, our team was blown away by the quality of content they were putting out.  Our original offer was 5 billion, but when they asked 10 billion we barely even tried to negotiate."

The Onion News has said they are renaming The Apogee Report to "The Orion News,"  effective immediately.