Cape Canaveral, FL — Today, the police have found a fully intact BE-4 in the offices of ULA after it was reportedly stolen from Blue Origins facility yesterday afternoon. Security camera footage from inside of the Blue Origin facility shows Tory Bruno under disguise wheeling out the BE-4 engine in a fit of rage against Jeff who, who has not yet given Tory the engines for ULA's Vulcan centaur rocket. In a turn of events, the police decided to not arrest Tory, but instead arrest Jeff who. For comment on this, we have a testimony from the head police chief investigating this incident.
After looking in to this incident, it appears that Jeff who and Blue Origin have violated many contracts against ULA, making what Tory Bruno did completely legal and justified. In fact, there have been so many violated contracts, that Jeff who can face criminal charges.