Starbase, TX — We have conducted an interview with the ULA seagull on his plans for the flight of SN15, and here's what he had to say.
ULA Seagull: Well you see, everyone will expect to see me flying. They think I’ll knock it off axis during descent triggering FTS like I did on SN11, but I’ll be sneaky this time. I’ll use the anti seagull killer sensor like on B1059. This time it will be their fault.
Gzzi: Hmmm, so your going to land on the pad?
ULA Seagull: I’ll walk, sneakier.
∆V: Could you elaborate on how the anti seagull killer sensor works?
ULA Seagull: The FTS things have those fancy teslacams, and they’re made to avoid animals, so I put a couple lines of code in there to avoid seagulls so now every time they see me they divert away
∆V: Could you explain what you did to SN11?
ULA Seagull: It was hella foggy so no one saw, so I brought in the jet packs for worst case scenario since SN11 was more than likely going to be safed. I knocked it off course with all my power and for a little fun i put some explosives in the raptors so when they ignite at the right time, BOOM.
∆V: So why do you want to destroy SN15?
ULA Seagull: bc I wanna see all that extra fancy upgrades wasted.
∆V: Thanks @ULASeagull for the interview. We'll talk to you about the orbitals soon.