ULA Changes Business. Vulcan Cancelled, to become septic tanks

ULA Rebrands as ULATU, starts manufacturing industrial septic tanks as stated by ULA CEO.

ULA Changes Business. Vulcan Cancelled, to become septic tanks

Former 'United Launch Alliance' (ULA), now 'United Large Aerobic Treatment Units' (ULATU) CEO Bory Truno announced in a Twirp earlier today that ULA is cancelling Vulcan and moving into septic tanks because overcharging customers on septic tanks is more profitable.

Using our fuel tank manufacturing equipment, we intend to start mass producing septic tanks under the new brand, ULATU. Our factory conversions should be done as soon as next month.

Bory also introduced ULATUs' new slogan in a later Twirp.

Here at ULATU, we pride ourselves in making the best and largest industrial septic tanks.

ULATU intends to test the current septic tanks (derived from the Vulcan rocket) to destruction so they fully understand the limits of their tanks and to find weak spots. ULATU is also projected to make the worlds safest septic tanks, as they were renowned for reliability in the rocket business. Septic tanks run the risk of exploding under the right conditions due the the methane gas produced by the breakdown of organic matter. ULATU intends to avoid these issues by selling the methane directly to SpaceXs' Starbase via an underground pipe system.  

Whether or not ULAs' parent companies are okay with this rebranding or not remains to be seen, but we sure are!

Idea suggested by NASA Pilot