ULASeagull to become first orbital fully reusable, natural rocket, launching NET Sunday

ULASeagull to become first orbital fully reusable, natural rocket, launching NET Sunday

Cape Canaveral, FL — This morning, an announcement from ULA and Bory Truno has been shared to the media informing us about their new plans for a rocket to compete in the space race to eco-safe rockets running on natural propellant as a direct competitor to Orca Space EcoRocket. They announced that ULASeagull will be taken for upgrades and will have the sniper swapped out with a new In House engine called Sandwich-1 which will power it straight to orbit, running on Sea Water as the oxidizer and Lays Chips as the propellant. When asked about how he felt about the upgrade, we were told:

SQUAK SQUAKS SQUAK SQUAKS SQUAK SQUAKS SQUAK SQUAKS SQUAK SQUAKS SQUAK SQUAKS - ULASeagull
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ULASeagull is now reportedly at Playalinda Beach in Cape Canaveral fueling up on sancwiches and sea water, in preperation for launch at 4:20 EST from SLC-41. The specs about the launch vehicle is unknown but its rumoured to be able to take your mom to orbit, the biggest payload in existence that even 18-meter Starship cannot handle. We spoke to some executives on what they thought of this new rocket, Mr. Jeff Who, part of a fanclub called the (sub)orbitals, and NASA which surprises the  team.

Can't believe I actually have to eat a hat. Dumb poop machines first poop om my car and now they poop to space??? — Florida Man

He also questioned if he can buy an engine for personal use on his 2008 Honda Civic.

This is truly an insane feat of engine, an American made bird rocket launching from American Soil. It truly shows how America can do anything if we tried instead of eating big macs on Taco Tuesday. We have multiple meetings planned as its mass to Lunar and Martian orbit and landing is astronomical, we're considering using it as our HLS for Artemis and oncoming missions to Mars. — Nill Belson

This is unbelievable, a seagull beating us to orbit AND the moon? I will sue the government and protest so we can be the first to orbit, this is ridiculous. — Jeff Who